Alright, as of a couple weeks ago, the title isn’t exactly, totally true anymore, but the spirit of the statement remains. I turned 29 back in August, and in preparation for meeting my thirties, I took a step towards taking better care of myself. Not to say that I trash my mortal coil, or that it was the beginning of a great big health kick, but I did seek out and start taking once-daily multivitamins.
And much to the amusement (or dismay) of my friends and coworkers, I haven’t shut up about it since.
You’re feeling a little slow and sluggish? Want to try a once-daily multivitamin by Nature Made?
You got the sniffles? How about a once-daily?
You sprained your ankle after falling off your mountain bike yesterday? Have you heard of Nature Made once-daily multi- you get it.
Also, to be clear, I’m not talking about the gummies or chewables. I’m talkin’ the big honkin’ horse pills that have edges and taste like grass if you don’t get them down quickly enough. It’s how you know it’s medicine that works. Anything else is just candy and it’s cheating.
And while it certainly just sounds like a joke, I’ve been pretty serious about it. Since taking them on a mostly-regular basis, I made it through Cold Season, Flu Season, and the general Winter Blues all virtually unscathed. Not chalking it up to luck, either. I was surrounded by sickies, and I could very much feel when my body was fighting something off, it’s just that every defense my body mounted was super successful.
In fact, that little disclaimer up at the top about being sick a few weeks ago only further cements my confidence in my Nature Made multivitamin theory. I spent a weekend drinking with friends, not sleeping a wink, and skipping my vitamins – boom, sick. I start taking them again the next day – bam, sickness clears up with a quickness.
Now, all of this certainly has the bones of an advertisement, but it isn’t.
I’ve been so chatty at work about this miracle pill that is a simple multivitamin, that the idea sprouted to pursue a sponsorship from the vitamin company, and I currently have a background bet going with a coworker which gives me pretty serious bragging rights if I ever show up with confirmation of said sponsorship.
Fun fact: I have a Twitter account that I’ve used maybe two or three times ever, but one of those times was to tweet at Nicolas Cage asking him to send me five dollars for all of the word-of-mouth advertising I did for his movie “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent”. I told him I would frame the five dollar bill to use as a conversation starter at dinner parties, but he never got back to me.
But as they say, “If you fail, try, try again.”
I think 2023’s my year. When I’m feeling confident, I’m probably going to start taking proper confessionals from those around me about all the preaching I’ve been doing and how it’s affected their lives, then sending that to Nature Made to see about a sponsorship. And I don’t need anything huge, this is for bragging rights remember, but it does need to be official. So just $1 and a certificate will do the job.
Failing even that, though, I have a contingency.
This coworker and I agreed that even if I can’t snag a proper sponsorship, if I get an official Cease & Desist from Nature Made for how much I start harrassing them in my pursuit of one, that will count for similar street cred. Maybe even more.
In the end, all I want to say, really, is this: Take your vitamins, mind your health, chewables are for cheaters, and if you eventually see an affiliate link to Nature Made products on this blog, please bear in mind proudly how much I had to annoy their company to make that a reality.
Ciao for now, y’all.